This is not one of those dreams. Promise.
When I sleep, my mind goes on completely insane adventures. Things that make no sense, and should NEVER make sense happen. Well, I'll let you be the judge.
It all started when I read this, and I discovered that one of my heroes, Curly, had an incredibly depressing and short life. I guess it was bouncing around in my subconscious, because that night this was my dream:
I decided to travel back in time to warn Curly about his impending strokes, and to lead him back to a path that did not include alcoholism and trans-fats. I met up with the Stooges in a bar (natch), and then tried talking to Curly. WELL, he was a total dick. I mean awful. Making comments about me being "a broad", telling me to fuck off, laughing at me, etc. Needless to say I was really hurt, because I fucking love Curly. I left the bar to discover that I was well and truly stuck in the 1930s, with no money, and no life skills (this is an ongoing problem...ooo, meta!) so I wandered around a dark and rainy New York City for a while. That was cool.
|Adorable...? Not in my dream!
This is where I meet the man of my dreams... Ed Begley Jr.
|No caption needed.
When suddenly it dawns on me...Ed Begley Jr. is mine and Curly's love child. Oh god.
He takes the news well...so well in fact, that he insists we should keep dating. I refuse, 'cause, well, NO ME GUSTA INCEST. Things seem like they're about to fall apart, when suddenly good ol' Ed points out that time travel negates the dangers/horrible moral issues of dating your own son. "Oh yea!" I say, "I forgot!"
And we lived happily ever after.
When I woke up, I had to stop and reflect on how fucking insane the dream I just had was. I mean, that is a very messed up thought process creating all those ideas. I was a little worried, but then I remembered that the dream where I was Lance Henriksen and glowed in the dark was much weirder, and I was, once again, content*.
*this is not a joke. If you're good, one day I might tell you.