Et tu, Google?

The auto fill-in function on Google's search box has betrayed me. Truly and deeply. Its super keener habit of offering up your previous searches has exposed every stupid question I've ever asked, every random thought that has bubbled into my head, and every attempt to win a stupid argument.

So of these searches are relatively harmless, amounting to my inability remember directions, phone numbers, or business hours...


But some are far more shameful, not to mention grammatically incorrect:

• hipster cat meme generator i dont want
• why are chinese dumplings so fatty
• how to win roll up the rim
• ecard i just called to say i love you kitties
• bacon candle diy
• famous infomercial products
• diabeetus cats <-- (that shit is funny, deal wit it)

Other betray my hypochondria:

• what does a blood clot in the leg feel like
• burn treatment at home
• sickipedia
• i dreamt i had afros on my boobs
• embarrasssing (<---oh, the meta-ness)

Some I could pass off as political, and I'd appreciate if we could all take this as evidence of my extremely active political discourse with society:

• rich powerful men have as much right over poor powerless women's vaginas
• ron paul abortion stance 
• someone reported my content as abusive on facebook when it wasnt
• noblewoman eaten in the street paris
• rob ford stalin
• we got a badass over here

And others are...well...they just are. Here they are with the fruits of the searches:

• mr show never ever ever
• always sunny i know something you dont know
• earth wind fire water heart
• harmonium song napoleon
• anime sugar daddy shoe on head <---(NSFW, but hi-larious)

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE, GOOGLE? WHERE'S YOUR AUTO FILL-IN FOR THAT?

You're welcome.