Monday 9 April 2012

Bad Poems for Those Working on a Holiday Monday

Hail, Companions! Some poems to enrich and colour your day!

Mmm, yes. Quite.

Haiku for Working on Easter Monday :

Optional day off
This should never be a thing
Seriously, fuck.

On Working For Others

I feel like my work-life balance is all wrong for the rewards I am reaping.
Please understand,
Although collation of your receipts is a necessary task,
I lack the enthusiasm I ought to have.
Or so you tell me.

A day off might improve moral,
We just had three, you kindly remind.
Perhaps the ennui could be conquered with a raise?
No, of course, I was only joking.

Haiku for Co-workers

Please stop. I beg you.
I cannot be your mother.
Wash your own dishes

Aren't you a grown up?
Have you never cleaned a cup?
I swear, I'll kill you.

Limerick for the Unemployed

There once was a girl from Toronto,
Who could fix many problems, like, pronto
But finding a job,
proved to be hard
'Twas a task that was hard to get onto

The Fine Art of Surfing the Net on The Clock

I have mastered the art of the minimize.
Command-H, my salvation and true love.
How deftly my fingers trace your form,
Working in tandem to hide Reddit and YouTube from prying eyes.

Damn gurl, you fine.

Ode to a Job that is Both Financially and Intellectually Unsatisfying

O! Each day I awaken to the prospect of you.
Looming, all-consuming.
You task me.
I return, for I must,
If only in trust,
Of a paycheck, on alternate Fridays.

Browsing Pinterest at Work

I feel this is only depressing me.
Presenting that which I cannot afford, nor craft
With my money, or free-time allotted.

I suppose I should hate you
But forgiveness is a virtue...
Aw, fuck it. Put a bird on it.*

*only relevant to hipsters.

And a final haiku, because I love shitty haikus so very very much...

Flirting with a Mid-Morning Snack

I see you cupcake
Hiding in the office fridge
Soon you will be mine

We rode together
In my bicycle, flying
Did you guess your fate?

Your death's not empty
Deftly ending hunger pains
Chocolate-iced Jesus.

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