And what do I do with this new found power? What great feats do I set out for myself every day?
Well...today I was still feeling sick...so I had ice cream for breakfast.
|Borrowed lovingly from hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com
As I sat on the sofa, watching an episode of 16 & Pregnant, I ate my cookie dough ice cream, and I thought to myself..."Ahhhh, adulthood...the power to do whatever I want to!"
And then I caught a reflection of myself in the spoon and I felt a little bit ashamed...but then I ate some cookie dough, and I felt better.
Look, no one prepares you for actually being an adult. I always kind of imagined that at 18 your brain would just click and suddenly you would be responsible, you'd make the right choices, and you certainly wouldn't live out scenes from Home Alone...
Moments of questioning my adulthood:
- While dancing with the cat.
- While dancing with the cat while unclothed (for the brave)
- After playing video games for over 4 hrs in one day (did I say 4? I meant
6 89... :( I am full of shame)
- Caught serenading the cat(s)
- While watching Jersey Shore/Teen Mom/16 & Pregnant
- After eating
pizza chinese food bbq candyice cream for breakfast
- After any night of more than 4 drinks...
- Singing Weird Al in karaoke...also, doing karaoke...
- When getting fired up about Michael Bay destroying the Ninja Turtles
- When choosing not to eat because cooking is hard
- When eating poutine at 3am
- When eating poutine with perogies as a garnish
- I seriously consider sneaking into movies at age 26... 0_o
- When I consider how much of my clothing has either a skull or a series of stripes...
- Reflecting on how funny poop jokes are. No. Seriously.
- When I ask my husband "Would still love me if I had no face? No arms? Voted for Rob Ford?"
...This is the big secret that you get in on when you become an adult...there's no such thing as adulthood...We're all the same idiots we were before, but now we can do all the stupid things we want with impunity...
|Nope. And now I'm gonna eat gummy bears and bacon for breakfast!