Hooray! I'm Helping!

Last night I played my final hockey game of the summer at Moss Park arena. For those of you unfamiliar with the Moss Park area, let me give you some context:

Recent Moss Park events include:

• Entering the parking lot after our game to discover bike cops, a bloody shirt, and that someone had been stabbed. 
• Crack heads pumping their fists and telling me to kick ass...while smoking crack, naturally.
• Drunks dancing and "singing" along to Pink Floyd.
• A pimp telling a girl she was nothing but a "broke-down ho"...she responded by throwing a trash can at him.

Super classy, amiright?

So, I go into my game last night at 9:30pm, and pass a gentleman sprawled face-down in the park. I am fairly used to seeing passed out crackheads (so classy), but this guy looks practically comatose. Feet splayed, arms bent awkwardly, nose-in-the-dirt, etc. 

I think nothing of it and go into the arena, where we lose 2-0 and get bumped out of the playoffs. ...At this point our record is better than the Leafs for the last 9 years, seeing as we actually made it into the playoffs... deal with that knowledge Dion Phaneuf...

Look at the psychotic rage build over the seasons! :D

I exit the arena a full 2 hours after I went in...and I pass the same guy sprawled out in the park...in exactly the same way. Face-down, feet splayed, arms akimbo... suffice it to say that it was unnatural in the extreme.


I think to myself that there are 3 possible scenarios...

1. He is passed out from drugs/alcohol/semla buns
2. He has overdosed
3. He is dead.

Now I think to myself, what do I do? I have never called the cops, an ambulance, or even Rob Ford (local hero manbearpig)... If he is dead, can I live with myself reading about it in the paper tomorrow, knowing that I did nothing...?

Almost.



But I decide that I should call the Toronto Police Services and ask them to send someone to make sure he isn't dead... So I call them:

TPS: Hello, what is the situation?

Me: Um...so, I'm at Moss Park arena...and there's this guy who has been lying passed out for 2 hours...

TPS: Is he breathing?

Me: Um...I think so, I was looking at him and I couldn't tell, which is why I'm calling...

TPS: Okay, can you please go check on his breathing? We are sending the police and an ambulance, but we will need you to turn him over and I need you to tell me when he is breathing.

At this point I try to nicely, but firmly, explain that since:

a) I don't know him 

b) He is likely a crack head

c) I have no idea if he is dead or just strung out on crack 

There is NO WAY IN HELL I AM GOING TO ROLL SOME GUY OVER IN MOSS PARK.




I like my body sans shivs, kthxbye.




The TPS operator passes me over to the ambulance operator who immediately informs me it is NOT necessary for me to roll the may-or-may-not-be-awake crackhead over. I thank all the gods I do not believe in.


After the cops show up and tell me I can head out, I drive away feeling like I probably just ruined some homeless guy's evening. Feels bad man. But I guess I'd rather be the type of person who acts rather than stands by...even if that means killing a crackhead's buzz once in a while.