|So much carny goodness!|
During this romp through the epitome of post-responsibility-gastronomy, I ate and saw a great many things. We began our journey at Bacon Nation, home of the "bacon-wrapped-deep-fried-sausage-on-a-stick"...it was...delicious.
This was coupled with a pulled pork grilled cheese (shit be off tha hook, yo).
|Witness: the cause of my untimely death via blocked arteries.|
They brought with them a cornucopia of greasy fare...including the bacon/sausage/fried/stick monstrosity that Mitch and I shared between us, a krispy kreme doughnut burger with a fried egg, an 8" pie tin full of mac & cheese & pulled pork, and a multitude of chips, french fries, and interesting yet unplaceable odours...
Now, the krispy kreme doughnut burger should be explained...it is an abomination of sweet and salty goodness. Comprised of 2 doughnuts as the buns, a burger, cheese, bacon, and a fried egg...the shame is optional.
I have watched people eat these in the past. Usually laughing at the sickening absurdity, egged on (haw haw) by their friends...It wasn't until this weekend I saw someone eating one for their own satisfaction.
|This is 1500 calories without the egg and bacon...2000 calories as pictured...|
Intrigued, I leaned a little closer...
He remarked around a mouthful of doughnut-burger-with-a-fried-egg:
"I never drink tap water. It's not healthy."
Now, I'm not one to judge someone entirely on their outward appearance...HOWEVER, I am unlikely to take health & diet tips from someone over 300lbs as they inhale a KRISPY KREME BURGER TOPPED WITH A FRIED EGG AND JUICY STRIPS OF BACON.
Ahem. The bacon is purely an extravagance.
I would also like to address the fact that tap water is perfectly fine to drink, and it's this kind of baseless pseudo-science-based-on-Fox-News-esque-impressions-and-perceptions that are destroying the world.
|Obama is worse than Hitler! Also, frogs give you warts!|
What is "it" you may ask? Well, I'll just toss out some nouns and verbs and you can pick any of them:
I was annoyed, to say the least, that as soon as he said this, his friends all jumped in with:
"Oh yea, I use a filter!" "I drink bottled water!" and "Gross!"
Good little consumers...keep on consuming. So meta.
In other news, the CNE was awesome, and included:
- The sand castle of my nightmares!
- Rides where you may-or-may-not die!
- Mitch's displeasure regarding rides of great height!
- Me squishing people in my mind!
- Spaghetti & spicy meatball sandwiches!
- Extremely questionable food choices (but no freely distributed & unfounded health claims!)
- SUPER DOMO!!!!!!!! (the physical embodiment of my skill at whack-a-mole)
I could close with some pithy remark regarding rampant consumerism and the dumbing down of the population through truthiness...but did you hear? Snooky just had a baby!