Monday 23 July 2012

Ah...This is a Low Point...

I was invited to a party on Saturday night. A friend of mine had come into a large amount of Bud Light  Lime Mojito...

Although never entirely clear on the details, it went something like: beer promo girls + flattery + free coffee = coupons for 2 packs of Bud Light Lime Mojitos. Each coupon gave you one of these:

And, in the end, there were 206 cans...although only 126 made it into the fridge...

I arrived late to the party, around 12:30am, after spending the evening at the Waterfront Asian Night Market (omfg, everything is delicious...even the smelly tofu).

Takoyaki, tornado shrimp, curry fish balls, strawberry juice, and shui mai on a stick!
Making takoyaki! 
Pineapple drink!
Shaved ice...from a panda's butt

Shaved mango ice with popping boba!

Me gusta.

So, here I am, full of Asian street food, and I hop on a bike for a nice terrifying ride along Dundas St West where I am nearly hit by both a minivan and a tour bus in a 15min span.

Now, I came prepared, and brought 2 (drinkable) beers of my own...hoping planning that all the horrendous delicious Bud Light Lime Mojito would have been choked down enjoyed by the time I arrived...I was wrong...very wrong.

As soon as I walk in the door, someone warns me to avoid the he is making every new arrival shotgun a Bud Light Lime Mojito...oh god...the horror, the horror... I try to hide, but I am spotted and whisked out to the balcony for my first shotgunned beer ever.

Of course, I failed horribly.

What the previous diagram doesn't quite capture is the searing pain of bubbles and artificial lime flavour-scrapings as they shoot up into your sinuses. It neglects to outline the symphony of burps, coughs, and splutterings. The beer on your feet, hands, and face. And, of course, the shame...What is the colour of shame?

It was as Bud Light Lime Mojito was shooting out of both my mouth and nose that I had an out-of-body experience had hovered above the travesty of myself on the balcony and thought...

"Ah yes...this is a low point."

Remember folks...Drink responsibly with class.

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