Monday, 11 June 2012


Well this makes my soul hurt. ...I'll get back to it.

In other news, Lena Dunham, you need to respond to my tweets. For reals, yo. You are one of 2 celebrities that I have tweeted to, and Neil Gaiman responded. Mostly because he is lovely, but mainly because we both like The Magnetic Fields.

For those of you who don't watch Girls (Mum, I am glaring at you through the internets), or for those of you who haven't watched last night's episode (#9, "Leave Me Alone") was good. Really good. Like, so painfully reflective of some of my own friendships that I felt found out.

Which brings me to what I want to talk about today...Frenemies.

Yes, Frenemies. We all have them (or have had them if you want to lie to yourselves). Those people that you logically have no reason to be around, aside from inertia (screw you Newton).

In this week's episode of Girls, we meet Hannah's frenemy (although they cheap out and call her a nemesis), but let's be honest folks, a nemesis implies a mutual jealousy. Whereas frenemies (in my experience) belie a lopsided jealousy. Usually where one person decides the other has undeserved accomplishments.

In the episode, aspiring writer Hannah goes to the book launch of her frenemy from university. A girl who has just published a book which Hannah decides is garbage. The banter between the characters is played up for comedy, but the situation hit uncomfortably close to home.

Glaring at frenemy Tally Schifrin: shitty writer.
What does it say about us as people when we have frenemies? I'm not going to wank around and say that we shouldn't begrudge people for ill-gotten or undeserved success... that shit is annoying at best, heartbreaking at worst, and we should curse them from the bottom of our black, bitter hearts.

I do not wish you continued success.
I wish you mild inconvenience, like missing the bus, or stubbing your toe.

But honestly...what DOES the frenemy concept say about us as a generation...? Well...let's scroll back up to that first comic... (fuck it, scrolling is hard, here it is again:)

Life is hard right now. Despite what our parents say, life is harder for young people now than it was for our parents. Science-fact. Maybe we just don't have room for well-wishing when all we can see is missed opportunity...?

We all know people whose parents bought them a condo, or pay their rent, or who still live at home...they're lucky, and they're getting an easy way out of reality. When those same people succeed at something we aspire to, whether that success was merited, or purchased by mummy and trivializes the sacrifices we've made. And when you're living in a dank basement apartment, picking pennies off the street to pay bus fare...deep down you feel like "it's okay, because it's all gonna pay off soon!"

Unfortunately, the universe doesn't work that way. People struggle, and sacrifice, and sometimes they end up with nothing. Shit happens, c'est la vie, *insert 3rd cliché here*.

...and raising our generation via the Disney channel means that we lack the coping skills to deal with defeat and setbacks. Our parents didn't fight wars, kids didn't die, and everyone made it to home plate before the pitch.

The Occupy movement, the student rallies in Quebec, frenemies... it's a symptom of a larger issue. WE WERE NOT PREPARED FOR LIFE TO BE UNFAIR. And it doesn't help that things are more unfair for us than they ever were for our parents...

Good job Claire, you're a fucking sociological genius... now, what the hell do you suggest we do to fix things?!

The boomers ARE screwing us over and loading us with debt (both personal and national) that we will never be able to climb out from under. They are working longer, and demanding that we take unpaid internships to extend their own careers. They are trivializing the issues that we are facing by calling us "spoiled" and "entitled". Well, I don't think it's entitled to want the same quality of life that they had at our age...

So, we man up, and develop empathy or at least respect for each other's accomplishments... if ONLY so we become a unified force with a clear message. As long as we nitpick each other's accomplishments, and fight to tear our frenemies down, we'll never be seen as legitimate adults...unfair as that may be.

Because, when you break frenemies down, it's just human-fucking-nature.

The Smiling Spaniard

Egnatius, because he has bright white teeth,
always smiles: If someone comes to the defendant's
bench, when the speaker arouses weeping,
he grins; If there is weeping at the funeral pyre of
a dutiful son, when the bereaved mother laments her only son,
he grins. Whatever it is, wherever he is,
whatever he is doing, he grins: he has this disease,
neither elegant, as I think, nor refined.
Therefore I must warn you, my good Egnatius.
If you were a city man or a Sabine or a Tiburnan
or a thrifty Umbrian or a fat Etruscan
or a swarthy or toothy Lanuvian or
a Transpadane, to touch on my own people as well,
or anyone you like who cleans his teeth with clean water,
I still should not want you to smile on all occasions:
for nothing is more silly than a silly smile.
Now you are a Celtiberian: in the land of Celtiberia,
whatever each man has urinated, with this he is accustomed
in the morning to rub his teeth and gums until they are red,
so that the more polished those teeth of yours are,
the more urine they proclaim you to have drunk


  1. Totally agree. I’m thinking that perhaps you avoided opening the full can of worms (tactfully, unlike myself).. namely that it being an unfair game is just one symptom of a sick society. I don’t think our parents are to blame for not preparing us, I think they’re to blame for letting shit get this bad. The younger generation can’t meet the standards of modern society and be happy at the same time, and I think that’s the result of blindly feeding this capitalist society. The game is busted.. and by game I mean our future. Yikes! :)

    or maybe you sampled the can of worms, and resealed it for later..