Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Stop Everything!!!! ...Someone is Lying on the Internet!

I've been home sick. Nursing my sinus pain with neocitran and self pity. And during one of my less miserable periods, I surfed some internet tubes...

During these internet romps, I discovered a horrible truth...PEOPLE ARE LYING ONLINE. Yes my friends, it is true. There are dozens, nay hundreds, nay millions of people online telling lies...

They range from the smallest white lie on a dating site about weight, or height, or favourite breakfast food...all the way through to MP Vic Toews swearing up and down that Bill C-30 isn't a gross invasion of privacy.

I'm a big Reddit fan...but I got quite the wake up call about the ease of lying to an unseen audience when I came across an inventive re-telling of an event that I had personally been present at. The story was exactly that...a story. A complete fiction with elements of truthiness to it, and coupled with a gifted storyteller, to many readers, it rang true.

...I was...displeased, to say the least.

I was lucky enough to have finished high school before texting, or myspace, or social media was around. I didn't have to worry about weird bullies making up lies about myself, or people I know on the interwebs...Of course, the downside is I have absolutely no coping skills for this situation now...


Well, so what? There is no recourse, no cyber police, and lord knows I don't want to get drawn into an internet shitstorm... So I have to walk away.

It's not a great feeling, to know that someone can type away at a keyboard and fantasize about the past, changing names and face. Details and events. But it's the way it is. And at first I was really mad, but then I thought...

...Maybe that's part of the magic of the internet...? It allows people to live out their fantasies. Now that sad forever-alone can live out any fantasy they wish, and no one will be the wiser...hell, if they're a good enough story teller they may even get cheered on and have some semblance of self esteem!
You bet 'I do'!!!
Do you take this night elf to be your lawfully wedded elf?

Sure, this guy's story was a complete fabrication, crafted to ease the pain of being a chronic third wheel, whose constant financially-motivated temper tantrums finally stopped working... It helps to ease his pain of being rejected, and gives him an excuse to blame his friends for his own lack of adult skills. And let's be honest folks, nobody likes accepting blame...

This forum for spewing fantasy gives an outlet to those who are removed or isolated from social those unable to reach their fellow humans in a meaningful way. It lets them, in some sad way, feel normal.

Which they aren't.

But hey, without the false sense of anonymity the internet provide, we'd never get treasures like star wars kid, or chocolate rain! So, you wanna lie? Go nuts. The internet needs some more kooks for its meme-machine.



  1. Was it...a certain someone who got pissy at a certain someone of mine's music taste? I MUST KNOW.